14 June 2010

the futile justification of non-futile annie.

Well, I suppose it’s fair to say that it’s obvious as to what this post is pertaining to. But let’s pretend like you hadn’t already seen the title. Instead, let me kick this off with a question that has been quietly, yet ferociously, puzzling the minds of the world for quite some time now: what the hell is a bottom-dollar?

Well, good reader. You’ve come to the right place. Because here, I answer the tough questions. I go where no blogger [lame] has gone before. But I digress.

Actually, you probably have already defined that phrase. It’s not like it’s all that challenging to figure-out. But it’s rather lovely, isn’t it? That earnest little orphan is so fervently optimistic that there will, in fact, be sun tomorrow, that she’s willing to bet that last dollar. That’s some heavy shit.

No, no. It’s not right of me to poke any sort of cynical fun. And if I did and if I do, I didn’t and won’t mean it. I love Annie. Genuinely. And if you’ve never seen it, well, that is so completely too bad. Don’t worry. I have it on VHS. AND the soundtrack. And it’s important for you to know that it’s the 1982 version with Carol Burnett as Ms. Hannigan. It’s the best one. Really.

Naturally, these aren’t the sorts of things that a person tells other people for fear of being seen as un-cool. But, I feel that we’ve known each other long enough. And I feel that music is a major component of this here blog. And I have certainly established my credibility as someone who genuinely knows good music. I hope you’ll agree.

So, therefore, when I tell you how great Annie is, you will not only agree with me, but you’ll confide in my musical tastes, because I’ve never steered you wrong before.

Alright, here’s what I’ve been thinking. As a person who has loved musical theatre for, well, nearly my own forever, I sure do love Glee. Now, Glee is a wonderful television program that, although, does go through a few cheesy dialogues, it still does an excellent job of high-lighting big-time Broadway-esque voices.

Naturally, I have often pondered who I would play on Glee. And here’s what I’ve come up with:

Picture it: there’s some sort of set-up where one of the cast members has to come back into the school, perhaps because they left a biology book in their locker. I suppose it could be an English book. Or a math book. Or a pencil. Okay, that’s not important.

ANYWAY, this cast member hears a stirring and instantly knows that there’s strange talk of musical theatre abroad. That’s when I will be revealed, mopping the floors.

BAM. It’s a dark lit hallway with a single spotlight. And there I am, singing “Tomorrow.” Now, don’t get it twisted. I won’t be doing it in its original form. By that time, I will have perfected my acapella interpretation. But my version, naturally, will be cool and beyond-boss. Maybe I’ll even dye my hair red. Needless to say, it will be legendary.

Yep. That’s how it would all play out.

Anyway, good reader. I realize that this post may not seem important. But hell’s bells! Nothing could be more important than the heart wrenching story of a freckled orphan who waits and dreams of the day that her parents will come back and get her!

I mean, have you ever heard “Maybe” GEES! Don’t even go there without a steady supply of Kleenex on-tap. There little Annie is with all of the other little orphans and she’s singing about the type of people that she hopes her parents are. And even though they left her, she’s not bitter about it at all. She says how she “[bets] they’re good, why shouldn’t they be? Their one mistake was giving up me.”

HOLY SMOKES. I mean really.

You just let that settle-in for a cool little minute.

Have you ever noticed how much I overuse hyphens? Well, much like Annie, hyphens are incredibly underrated.

Anyhow, the real beauty of Annie is that she never gives up on knowing that something good will come out of something tough. She really is a tough little cookie.

And I completely respect that in a person. And I fully believe in the power of positive thinking. After all, the sun will, undoubtedly, come out tomorrow. I mean, unless the world ends or something, but like that’s gonna happen. Although, I did hear the other day that Ricky Martin recently starred in Les Miserables. Pretty sure that’s one of the seven signs of the apocalypse. So, you know, cross your fingers.

Yours today and tomorrow,
katie beth