touch gloves again.

Holy moly. It’s been a good little while since we last talked, blog-style. First things first: if you told me happy b-day, via the wonder that is facebook, let me tell you how glad I am that you decided to do so. You people are completely boss. Also, somewhere between that last post and today, we broke 1,000 hits, people. You know I want you to go fix yourself another drink and toast the blog. You can even pop champagne. I mean, granted you got that dough. So, now that we’re back into the swing of things, let me give you a fast little update on some important stuff:

1. I am now twenty years-old and man-oh-man, do I look different. No, that was a lie, but I do feel different. Why? Cause, holy smokes, I’m no longer a teenager. And rightfully so. I’ve felt far-away from that for a good little while, anyhow.

2. There are some kickin’ songs getting their well-deserved time on this here blog, over to your right. Check em out, while you’re checkin’ in.

3. I stayed up the other night and watched True Life, over on MTV. You and me both will be glad to know that Nikki and Amanda no longer hate their plastic surgery.

4. Summer is in full-on-good-times mode. Let’s make plans to hang out. And let’s do it real soon.

5. I can’t stop watching those “Real Housewives,” over on Bravo. The New York ones make me feel like I actually am Jewish. (ch-yeah!) The New Jersey ones make me feel like an Italian. (ch-yeah! again) The Orange County ones make me want to get a spray tan. (not so ch-yeah.) And the Atlanta ones make me want to kick-start my rappin’ career (total ch-yeah!)

6. I heard and then saw that girl again from Books-A-Million. And she acted like she remembered who I was, but I dodged her and kept on moving. It was an awkward situation for everyone involved.

7. I am still frantically checking my final grades. I don’t know what the damn hold up is. I showed up on time and took the tests. The least you can do is let me know how much I rocked it. So far, we’ve got three As, but I’m still waiting on Philosophy and Anatomy II. CROSS YO FINGAS!

Okay, now that you’re updated on some important stuff, let’s talk a little:

I know I already said it, but I really was impressed and down right honored by all of the awesome people who took the time out of their day to tell me happy birthday. It really did mean the world. I mean, really. It did. And do you remember that one post I did with the picture of them Power Rangers on it?

Well, if you do, you are a true fan of the blog and, therefore, a true love in my life, but if you don’t, I pretty much promised to always be there for you. In fact, I told you that if anyone or everyone starts giving you a bunch of shit, you can call me. And I really meant it. HOLY MOLY, now you really can call me and I guess you could have called me before, but now it’s a lot more exciting, since I got a new phone. 423.384.9126 Now, I’m gonna trust you with that number. Don’t abuse it. And now, I know who I can give shout-outs to:

The following is a list of the people who told me happy b-day, via the book of face. And I am so super-honored. And we’re even gonna shout-out to the people who got there a little late. Quite frankly, nothing’s better than hearing “happy birthday” after the fact, cause then it still feels like it’s going on.

Anyhow, here it is. And I just took the liberty of abbreviating names, cause I don’t want to step on anyone’s privacy. Although, I mean, it’s not like anyone outside of the following list would read the blog, so I don’t think we have anything to worry about, but for just-in-cases, I chose to
abbreviate:

a. nunley
a. richardson
a. wilder
b. bailey
c. brown
c. carden
c. hicks
c. morelock
c. walker
d. preston
d. walker
d. wilcox
e. byerley
e. gooch
e. helton
e. wadewitz
f. counts
g. valentine
h. laughlin
j. beatty
j. hurd
j. lane
j. murray
j. taylor
j. glenn walker
j. walker
j. welch
k. bussell
k. lyons
l. coffey
l. mears
l. wagner
m. byerley #1
m. byerley #2
m. fox
m. hash
m. peters
m. todd
m. walker
m. williams
o. whitlock
p. byerley
p. crisp
r. hudson
r. skoby’s
s. barker
s. ehrhart
t. cleek
t. helmer
t. roark
v. cooper
v. Germinario
v. wheeler
w. gregg


Holy smokes, that was hard work. Was it goofy that I alphabetized it? Well, rightfully so. At any rate, I hope I didn’t leave anyone out, cause then I’d just feel like a jerk. And if you didn’t tell me happy birthday, well, that’s alright. Just be sure and try to not to forget important dates ever again. Cause I know you’re super-jealous of those lucky and elite people who now have their names [well, at least their abbreviated names] on the blog. Man, that is a ridiculously huge honor, and I’m glad to be able to give it to people who are truly worthy.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it all night, you people really are completely boss, and I can’t thank you enough.

Okay, one more thing:

Now that the school year’s over, I thought I’d give you an end-of-the-year assessment:

:: Art History ::
Basically, Art History is just another way of saying, “Humanities,” which I’ve had. And which I liked, but it was basically a lot of the same stuff. I’m not sure if that’s how it was supposed to go down. Anyhow, I had a really cool teacher who was totally chill. He didn’t waste anyone’s time with being all silly and counting off points for lack of attendance. And it really goes to show how well that whole system works, because people still did show up. Treating students like adults works. It really does.

:: Philosophy ::
“Philosophy = Beard. Beard = Philosophy.”
“Wait, what?” Well, that’s a good-enough quote to signify the overall experience of the class, but once I got into it, gees, I really got into it. Now I find myself buying books on the subject and it couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. I thought, wow, there is actually a huge and beautiful field of study dedicated to what I was already thinkin’. I have never felt more sane about being a little crazy. Plato and a platypus walk into a bar…

:: Speech ::
Well, I ended up really surprising myself. I was pretty much dreading having to take the class, but it ended up being my favorite. I met some pretty awesome people and it felt really good to know that there are going to be people out there in the world that like what I write, how I write it, and how I say it. That’s genuine vindication right there.

:: Marriage & Family ::
There are no words. Actually, there are: basically, this class taught me that marriage is a hoax and that, sure, it exists, but only for about six months. And then that little fire you got going will hopelessly go out. Let’s pretend like we didn’t already know that and just keep on keepin’ on. We already knew that love is a battlefield. I could have just tuned-in to a little soft rock and saved myself the agony.

:: Anatomy II ::
Surprisingly, just as painfully, hopelessly, and depressingly flat-out, full-on awful as Anatomy I.

Well, that settles it and finishes it. Another semester gone, but I really did learn a whole lot. I feel immensely enlightened, and I sure do hope the same is true for you.

As always, I send you love and appreciation for taking the time to read a little on the blog. And I really do love you for it.

Anyhow, in the same fashion as that last power ranger post, in which I promised to be there for you whenever you need me, let’s touch gloves.

Also, let’s make even more plans to grow old together. And I feel like it was okay for me to recycle that picture and use it again on the blog. Some things are just instant classics and that’s a thing that they can’t help.

Also, go settle into those songs that are new to the blog. Especially that first one. Did you hear that one line? “you came, you saw / you sawed her brains / cut out all the parts that held your stain” man-oh-man, I love you J. Vernon. Really.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: I really did get a brand&shiny&new cellular device. It is really beautiful and I am currently obsessed with three things:

1. I have a barcode scanner which means that I can scan things and see where I can get them for a cheaper price. But really, who cares about being economical? Scanning things is the total best part.

2. I have a really neat application called “Campfire Games.” So, I’ll never be bored again.

3. I now have a bitchin compass. Right now, I am settled-in at 202 SW.

4. Pandora. Gees.

And, speaking of Pandora, you just better get ready cause I’ve already started up a new set of post-its and I am rapidly filling it up with epic tunage. You’re so welcome.

Yours,
katie beth
literal age: 20
metaphysical age: 117
power ranger age: bitch please. seriously though, touch gloves.

biding time.

Readers: how the hell are you? I hope your answer to that question is something of a positive. I really hope you're not having a bad day, but if you are, I sure do hope that the blog will brighten it, if only for a moment. Also, know that I am writing this post merely as a way to distract myself from what’s certain to follow. Coming up, you better get beyond pumped because I have the most incredible post saved on this here laptop about Saint Patty’s Day. It really is going to change your life. And it will be a change for the greener, the Irish, and the better. I feel safe in saying that you’re going to love it.

But I can’t put it on here yet. I really thought about doing it because The Office was already celebrating over on NBC last night. Did you see it? Andy had on a kilt. It was great. Scottish, but great. but I just can’t post it yet. It’s best if I can hold out until March 17th. Gees, that feels like it’s going to be light-years away, but I hope we can both hold on. I mean really. It’s that good.

So, what can we talk about to keep our minds off of what promises to be the most amazing post yet?

*know that I sat here for a while and couldn’t come up with anything good*

Here’s what we’re gonna do: I’m going to give a quick update on the past posts. I can see how you may want to immediately leave the blog. I mean, that doesn’t sound like it’s going to be super-interesting, but I don’t have that option. I have to keep on typing because it’s necessary and because I can’t stop thinking about that post that’s going to be all about the Irish.

So, let’s start back at the beginning. Have you read all of the posts, thus far? I hope you’re nodding your head in a “yes” motion. That first post about Valentine’s Day “Valentine: Revisited” was, really, a stupid title. You can’t revisit something that you’ve never visited. So, that was a negative. Sorry about that.

Anyhow, Valentine’s Day 2010 ended up being really awesome. My dad had to go to Atlanta (that wasn’t awesome) and it was the first time that he hadn’t spent that holiday with my mom in something ridiculous, like, since he was sixteen. So, I decided that the rest of the family was going out and my dad thought that was a good idea.

I called up my grandparents, whom I call “the kids,” and we all, in fact, went out. Even my brother, who wouldn’t have had any trouble getting a girl to go out with him on that holiday. He usually has a legion of admirers, but if you’re one of those girls and you come after my brother with googly-eyes. Well, remember that post with the Power Rangers picture on it? I really will do what I said because he is one of my people, just like you (the person currently reading)

Anyway, it takes a lot for me to approve one of those lasses (sorry, I‘m still in Irish-mode), cause we’re tight. And if I’m going to give up my time hangin’ with my broski to some girl, she had better prove to be nothing short of what my expectations are.

Also, if you’re a guy, I’ll share with you the advice that I often give my brother: never trust a girl who has a tan year-round. (upon reading that back, it sounds slightly racist. That’s not how I meant it. I’m just talking tanning beds, here. Those make for sketchy people)

At any rate, we went out and it was fun. Except for this one guy who was sitting at a table and he had a date. Anyhow, she left before that sweet tea ever even hit the table. Yeah. She totally ditched him. It was so uncalled for. If you’re that girl, and you’re reading this, I have one message for you: well, I can’t put it in here, because it isn’t nice. I don’t want you to think that I’m a mean person.

Moving on. Okay, let’s make this short-and-sweet. The following is a follow-up on past posts. Of course, they’re in order:

*Yes, times is still hard. Although, I think the blog really must be catching on because I’ve noticed a slight 23% increase in the niceness of the common stranger.

*It’s not cold anymore, but I still want to meet up and build that campfire. I know where we can get some gravel. Also, my Les Miserables sweatshirt has been found. Tony the klepto-ghost is still on-the-loose. Send help and bring marshmallows.

*I still don’t like Taylor Swift at all. However, that picture of Kermit just keeps getting better and better. And I’m waiting for one of you to cover that song with my new lyrics. I have a feeling we’ll be famous together.

*I’m not going to Bonnaroo, but man, that line-up is still super-impressive. I’m thinking about putting up the tent or popping up the camper in the backyard and bumpin’ some of the tunes that those attending the actual festival will get to hear. Let me know if you want to make a reservation. It will be completely free if you bring an instrument and/or sleeping bag. And rightfully so.

*My i-pod shuffle was never found. My dad was nice enough to lend me his. It basically has the same stuff on it. I thought the other day about buying a Nano. I decided that I don’t need it. Instead, I bought a TMNT t-shirt. I think that was the smarter purchase.

*I don’t have the strength to talk about those poems.

*That “Johnson City Honda, Johnson City” commercial is still annoying and “that’s what she said” has never sounded better.

*I read the first ten pages of “Common Sense” by Glenn Beck. Then, I threw up. No, really, it wasn’t that bad, but I got a little freaked out. My dad wants to read it. He also records Glenn Beck’s show everyday at five. On Fox News. Again, send help, but this time, bring sanity.

*Again: those poems were a product of a moment of a bizarre place. But I kind of liked being there. I hope you did, too. I’m not going to disclose any more information on those things.

*WHOA. I have thought of so many songs that should have been on that Top 50 List, but I knew that was going to happen. Also, John Clayton Mayer and I are still pretty tight. Even if he does act like a jerk on the news-circuit because I’m a loyal fan. Really. I’m super-loyal.

*Avatar still blows my mind. I still haven’t gotten over it. At all. I love talking about it. I hope you do, too. Also, Hurt Locker WAS NOT better. I know at least one person who thinks that it was, but he was just talkin’ crazy. I mean, he couldn’t have really meant it. Actually, I think he did, but I’m not going to hold it against him. And if you agree with that crazy logic, well I won’t hold it against it you either. But just know that I’m going to have my own awards show and Avatar is literally going to win EVERYTHING. Because that’s how it should be.

*Really, I will be there the second you need me. Cause we’re tight like that.

*Nelson is still doing well. I really did buy a TMNT t-shirt. Nelson’s never been more proud of me. Also, no update on J. Murray's car, Barack Obama, but Nelson and I sent him a fruit-basket, for just-in-cases.

Well, that catches you up on things. Hope all is well. Let’s make plans to meet back here on March 17th for that awesome post that is currently ready and waitin'. I've said it before, and I'll say it all night: you’re going to love it. Feel free to wear green between now and then. I know I will.

Seriously, as an update on things in my life that are really-really important, at least in the traditional sense, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but man, that day is quickly approaching. And know that I am somewhere having a panic attack. Also, as far as Kingsport, TN goes, what in the hell are they doing to those roads? I mean really. It's kind of a cry for help out there. "Grooved Pavement?" hell's bells, more like: "Good Luck Making It Out Alive."

Yours,
katie beth











...let's touch gloves again. you know, for old time's sake.

touch gloves.

I realize that I just had a new post up, but it’s hard for me to contain myself once I get an idea of what a new post is going to be. And, at this point, I feel like if you click the links to this that I put on facebook, you know what you’re getting yourself into. And, hopefully, that means you like what you’ve been reading and you look forward to coming back for more. Also, apparently, the members of the Academy didn’t get a chance to read the blog. hello? Avatar? I guess they just missed it. I mean, I saw The Hurt Locker and it was really good, but it was nowhere near Avatar. I get it. I think they wanted to root for the underdog, but I’m still not over it.

Anyway, that’s enough about Avatar, I think we exhausted that topic already:

I feel like I should let you know that I’d never do anything just to spite you. In fact, I’d do just the opposite. It’s my goal in life to avoid overly dramatic situations. Often times, I find myself acting as the mediator between the protagonist and the antagonist, but you should know that - when it comes to my people - I would fight a thousand beasts a thousand times greater than myself and not for one single second think that I was overreacting.

Guess what? Because you’re one of the good people out there reading the blog, I’m going to give you a well deserved shout-out and you can sleep easy tonight. Because you now know that I consider you one of my people and if someone’s giving you a bunch of shit, you can call me - because I’ve got your back.

And I really mean it. If you need my help, you just call me. And if you don’t have my number, well, we’ll have to change that. You just ask, my friend.

I wish I could put names of the people on here that read this revolutionary blog, but, obviously, I can’t really just say your name on here cause I don’t really know who all is reading, but if I could know all of the names, rest assured that I would put them on here. And I would be super proud and beyond honored.

Anyway, I sure am glad that the blog is really taking off. It makes me feel like I really am doing important stuff, even if it really isn’t. And I decided to jazz up my profile on here (turns out, I'm a bull and a horse! ch-yeah!) cause I know you want to know all that you can about the author of this blog. Ha.

Thanks again, guys. Let’s make plans to grow old together.

Yours,
katie beth