you need to hear this.

Hell’s bells, friends of the blog. I spoke too soon. Remember that girl we discussed? You know, the one that I don’t really care for, well, she didn’t drop the class. It’s alright, though. It’s nothing I can’t handle.

Anyhow, you know I like to set the scene, and right now, I am sitting in a really cold computer lab and there’s only one other person in here. I’m sitting at the computer in the back left corner of the room and he’s sitting in the back right corner of the room. Do you think that makes him a Republican? Perhaps.

Anyway, it’s April and I always feel sorry for March. We never saw it coming and we hardly notice when it’s left, but I think I made good use of the month. I hope you did, too. And if you didn’t, well, that’s alright.

Okay, I need to tell you about the song that I have now listened to, well, I haven’t been keeping count, but sweet lord, I can’t stop. Do you know the genius that is Justin Vernon? Well, just in case you don’t, he’s great. And you know how you get into those Youtube trances? Well, I do and I just start clicking and listening, especially when I have to sit in this freezing computer lab for what feels like forever.

And it’s a nice escape because there are usually lots of people in here and they all have on blue scrubs. (I’m in the Health Building) And they’re all quite tall. I was in the lobby the other day and it almost felt like I was experiencing a scene in Avatar, but I digress.

Back to the musical discussion:

Well, I knew that Peter Gabriel of “In Your Eyes” fame had covered “Flume,” by Bon Iver [a boss project by Justin Vernon where he hibernated in a cabin in winter and emerged with quite possibly the best thing you’ll ever hear] Anyhow, I had heard the “Flume” cover and I liked it a lot and then, with the wonder that are hyperlinks, I finally discovered a video of Justin Vernon’s cover of “Come Talk To Me,” by Peter Gabriel.

Isn’t that awesome? It’s like musical-cover-tag, and I’m all for it. I could go on all day about Justin Vernon, but my two hours of work with my daily Academic Work Scholarship are about up and I parked in a two-hour spot, so I best be winding it on down, but just know that J. Vernon is rapidly replacing J. Mayer in my heart where I keep my greatest musical loves. And know that’s a major thing for me.

Alright, guys, I have posted the song on here for you. Please listen-on-in and get excited. It’s ridiculous, and in the best-sort-of-way.

I promise I won’t wait super-long to put up another post. I know you get sad when you can’t come on over to the blog and read something great.

Also, I have a quick little story to share with you:

The other day, I was walking into class and there’s a bench outside. On it, there sat a girl. And she had on black pumps, really tight jeans, lots o’ make-up, and two lip rings. They were sort of like punk-rock elephant tusks. Anyway, she was just sitting there and she was holding something. I couldn’t tell you if it was a dog or a cat, but I’m pretty sure it oinked. It was bizarre. And she told it to “hush up.”

Perhaps there is grand significance in that story, perhaps not, but I felt like it needed to be shared. Okay, now, go and listen to that video and feel free to fall in love.

Yours,
katie beth

biding time.

Readers: how the hell are you? I hope your answer to that question is something of a positive. I really hope you're not having a bad day, but if you are, I sure do hope that the blog will brighten it, if only for a moment. Also, know that I am writing this post merely as a way to distract myself from what’s certain to follow. Coming up, you better get beyond pumped because I have the most incredible post saved on this here laptop about Saint Patty’s Day. It really is going to change your life. And it will be a change for the greener, the Irish, and the better. I feel safe in saying that you’re going to love it.

But I can’t put it on here yet. I really thought about doing it because The Office was already celebrating over on NBC last night. Did you see it? Andy had on a kilt. It was great. Scottish, but great. but I just can’t post it yet. It’s best if I can hold out until March 17th. Gees, that feels like it’s going to be light-years away, but I hope we can both hold on. I mean really. It’s that good.

So, what can we talk about to keep our minds off of what promises to be the most amazing post yet?

*know that I sat here for a while and couldn’t come up with anything good*

Here’s what we’re gonna do: I’m going to give a quick update on the past posts. I can see how you may want to immediately leave the blog. I mean, that doesn’t sound like it’s going to be super-interesting, but I don’t have that option. I have to keep on typing because it’s necessary and because I can’t stop thinking about that post that’s going to be all about the Irish.

So, let’s start back at the beginning. Have you read all of the posts, thus far? I hope you’re nodding your head in a “yes” motion. That first post about Valentine’s Day “Valentine: Revisited” was, really, a stupid title. You can’t revisit something that you’ve never visited. So, that was a negative. Sorry about that.

Anyhow, Valentine’s Day 2010 ended up being really awesome. My dad had to go to Atlanta (that wasn’t awesome) and it was the first time that he hadn’t spent that holiday with my mom in something ridiculous, like, since he was sixteen. So, I decided that the rest of the family was going out and my dad thought that was a good idea.

I called up my grandparents, whom I call “the kids,” and we all, in fact, went out. Even my brother, who wouldn’t have had any trouble getting a girl to go out with him on that holiday. He usually has a legion of admirers, but if you’re one of those girls and you come after my brother with googly-eyes. Well, remember that post with the Power Rangers picture on it? I really will do what I said because he is one of my people, just like you (the person currently reading)

Anyway, it takes a lot for me to approve one of those lasses (sorry, I‘m still in Irish-mode), cause we’re tight. And if I’m going to give up my time hangin’ with my broski to some girl, she had better prove to be nothing short of what my expectations are.

Also, if you’re a guy, I’ll share with you the advice that I often give my brother: never trust a girl who has a tan year-round. (upon reading that back, it sounds slightly racist. That’s not how I meant it. I’m just talking tanning beds, here. Those make for sketchy people)

At any rate, we went out and it was fun. Except for this one guy who was sitting at a table and he had a date. Anyhow, she left before that sweet tea ever even hit the table. Yeah. She totally ditched him. It was so uncalled for. If you’re that girl, and you’re reading this, I have one message for you: well, I can’t put it in here, because it isn’t nice. I don’t want you to think that I’m a mean person.

Moving on. Okay, let’s make this short-and-sweet. The following is a follow-up on past posts. Of course, they’re in order:

*Yes, times is still hard. Although, I think the blog really must be catching on because I’ve noticed a slight 23% increase in the niceness of the common stranger.

*It’s not cold anymore, but I still want to meet up and build that campfire. I know where we can get some gravel. Also, my Les Miserables sweatshirt has been found. Tony the klepto-ghost is still on-the-loose. Send help and bring marshmallows.

*I still don’t like Taylor Swift at all. However, that picture of Kermit just keeps getting better and better. And I’m waiting for one of you to cover that song with my new lyrics. I have a feeling we’ll be famous together.

*I’m not going to Bonnaroo, but man, that line-up is still super-impressive. I’m thinking about putting up the tent or popping up the camper in the backyard and bumpin’ some of the tunes that those attending the actual festival will get to hear. Let me know if you want to make a reservation. It will be completely free if you bring an instrument and/or sleeping bag. And rightfully so.

*My i-pod shuffle was never found. My dad was nice enough to lend me his. It basically has the same stuff on it. I thought the other day about buying a Nano. I decided that I don’t need it. Instead, I bought a TMNT t-shirt. I think that was the smarter purchase.

*I don’t have the strength to talk about those poems.

*That “Johnson City Honda, Johnson City” commercial is still annoying and “that’s what she said” has never sounded better.

*I read the first ten pages of “Common Sense” by Glenn Beck. Then, I threw up. No, really, it wasn’t that bad, but I got a little freaked out. My dad wants to read it. He also records Glenn Beck’s show everyday at five. On Fox News. Again, send help, but this time, bring sanity.

*Again: those poems were a product of a moment of a bizarre place. But I kind of liked being there. I hope you did, too. I’m not going to disclose any more information on those things.

*WHOA. I have thought of so many songs that should have been on that Top 50 List, but I knew that was going to happen. Also, John Clayton Mayer and I are still pretty tight. Even if he does act like a jerk on the news-circuit because I’m a loyal fan. Really. I’m super-loyal.

*Avatar still blows my mind. I still haven’t gotten over it. At all. I love talking about it. I hope you do, too. Also, Hurt Locker WAS NOT better. I know at least one person who thinks that it was, but he was just talkin’ crazy. I mean, he couldn’t have really meant it. Actually, I think he did, but I’m not going to hold it against him. And if you agree with that crazy logic, well I won’t hold it against it you either. But just know that I’m going to have my own awards show and Avatar is literally going to win EVERYTHING. Because that’s how it should be.

*Really, I will be there the second you need me. Cause we’re tight like that.

*Nelson is still doing well. I really did buy a TMNT t-shirt. Nelson’s never been more proud of me. Also, no update on J. Murray's car, Barack Obama, but Nelson and I sent him a fruit-basket, for just-in-cases.

Well, that catches you up on things. Hope all is well. Let’s make plans to meet back here on March 17th for that awesome post that is currently ready and waitin'. I've said it before, and I'll say it all night: you’re going to love it. Feel free to wear green between now and then. I know I will.

Seriously, as an update on things in my life that are really-really important, at least in the traditional sense, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but man, that day is quickly approaching. And know that I am somewhere having a panic attack. Also, as far as Kingsport, TN goes, what in the hell are they doing to those roads? I mean really. It's kind of a cry for help out there. "Grooved Pavement?" hell's bells, more like: "Good Luck Making It Out Alive."

Yours,
katie beth











...let's touch gloves again. you know, for old time's sake.

touch gloves.

I realize that I just had a new post up, but it’s hard for me to contain myself once I get an idea of what a new post is going to be. And, at this point, I feel like if you click the links to this that I put on facebook, you know what you’re getting yourself into. And, hopefully, that means you like what you’ve been reading and you look forward to coming back for more. Also, apparently, the members of the Academy didn’t get a chance to read the blog. hello? Avatar? I guess they just missed it. I mean, I saw The Hurt Locker and it was really good, but it was nowhere near Avatar. I get it. I think they wanted to root for the underdog, but I’m still not over it.

Anyway, that’s enough about Avatar, I think we exhausted that topic already:

I feel like I should let you know that I’d never do anything just to spite you. In fact, I’d do just the opposite. It’s my goal in life to avoid overly dramatic situations. Often times, I find myself acting as the mediator between the protagonist and the antagonist, but you should know that - when it comes to my people - I would fight a thousand beasts a thousand times greater than myself and not for one single second think that I was overreacting.

Guess what? Because you’re one of the good people out there reading the blog, I’m going to give you a well deserved shout-out and you can sleep easy tonight. Because you now know that I consider you one of my people and if someone’s giving you a bunch of shit, you can call me - because I’ve got your back.

And I really mean it. If you need my help, you just call me. And if you don’t have my number, well, we’ll have to change that. You just ask, my friend.

I wish I could put names of the people on here that read this revolutionary blog, but, obviously, I can’t really just say your name on here cause I don’t really know who all is reading, but if I could know all of the names, rest assured that I would put them on here. And I would be super proud and beyond honored.

Anyway, I sure am glad that the blog is really taking off. It makes me feel like I really am doing important stuff, even if it really isn’t. And I decided to jazz up my profile on here (turns out, I'm a bull and a horse! ch-yeah!) cause I know you want to know all that you can about the author of this blog. Ha.

Thanks again, guys. Let’s make plans to grow old together.

Yours,
katie beth

fake empire.

This blog is super fun for me. I hope it’s super fun for you. And I hope you start saying things like “super fun” when you’re done reading. And I sure do hope that you’ve been enjoying those great songs over there to your right. It’s kind of like the blog is this super incredible hybrid of a mix-tape and a good read. It’s like the library you’ve never had. Cause guess what? You don’t have to keep quiet here.

I guess what I most want to talk about with you in this post is Avatar. Now, I’m not going to underline it or italicize it or anything ridiculous like that because proper grammar is aside the point. Aside or beside? I guess it can go either way. Grammar’s pretty bisexual when it wants to be.

Anyhow, let’s talk Avatar. Have you seen it? Obviously, I can’t hear your answer, even though I sure would like to, but if you haven’t, I suppose you should go out and do it. I mean, I don’t suppose it, I highly recommend it. In fact, you can adopt it as your sole duty in this lifetime.

Yeah, it was that important.

I could go on a tangent about how those effects really did blow my mind and made me feel like I was witnessing that one level from Unreal Tournament circa 2003, but I don’t like to think of them as effects. It’s sort of the same feeling I got during the Opening Ceremony for the Olympics in Vancouver. Bob Costas kept going on and on telling me about how everything was working. He was getting all technical. Here’s what, Bob: I don’t wanna know. That sort of ruins everything. Cause that part when those whales swam across my screen was epic. Yeah, Bob. I know they’re not real, but shhh! you’re ruining it. I can still get all Disney and imagine that yes, whales really did just swim across the floor of that place. Yes, yes they did.

Especially with Avatar. In my mind: yes, Pandora exists.

[SIDENOTE: One negative: why “Pandora?” I mean, I know the story. Hell, I took and thoroughly enjoyed “Greek Mythology” with Ms. Lacy back at the old stompin’ grounds of high school. Hm. Anyhow, I just sort of felt like - in a movie that was in production for what? something crazy like, a whole bunch of years and where you hired someone to create a language that was indigenous to this place alone, why couldn’t you be a little bit more original with the name of the planet. Was it a planet? I guess it was.]

Anyway, back to it: the reason why Avatar was so incredible had nothing to do with the effects and everything to do with that big metaphor hanging around the sticky floors and questionable stains of the theater chairs.

Let me just pull a jump-ahead and tell you that I cried. But, it wasn’t that sort of cry that I adopted during Marley and Me (which was, by the way, probably the most intense cry of my life. Because here‘s what: if you‘re gonna get a pet, get a dog. And if you’re gonna get a dog, get a golden retriever; there is absolutely nothing in this world that could ever compare) And, again, I’m growing tired of punctuation, so please forgive that that wasn’t properly done. I don’t come here to show off any sort of grammar skills. Those are only for special occasions.

At any rate, back to the tears:

I was mad. And I was frustrated. I have never been so angry at a life-size model of that character from Small Soldiers demolishing a huge-and-very-important tree.

And they were so upset. About a tree. It was incredible. And the kind of people, or, well, beings that I would totally want to hang with.

James Cameron: you are so great at what you do. I can’t imagine possessing that amount of talent. Again, you are so great at what you do. Let’s meet up later and shop-talk about you and your mind. Better yet, write a movie where I can come into your mind. It seems like it would be an awesome place to chill.

Anyway, guys, this could go on and on and there may be at least two of you out there that would keep on reading, but I think that, for the majority, I probably need to be winding it on down.

[but if you’re one of those two that would, in fact keep on going for as long as I could talk about this movie: let’s meet up. You just name the place and time. And let’s talk into the wee hours of the morning and see where it takes us.]

I don’t want to get too into it because maybe you haven’t seen it or maybe you’re rolling your eyes at the idea that a movie about big blue avatars with tails and glitter on their noses should be a metaphor for our world. But it really is. And I know that, if you’ve seen it, you had to have noticed.

And what really got me was that one line when he’s telling them that the sky people are coming to kill their mother. And he tells them that they’ve already killed theirs.

Let that sink in for a cool second. Cause, that’s some pretty heavy stuff. You can guarantee that I’ll be thinking a lot about how I hope that we’re not a complete lost cause, but it’s pretty true of who we are, or rather, who’s in charge.

And, really, who is in charge?

I’ll let you ponder that while I share with you a poem I just read by W.S. Merwin. It’s so apropos:

A MESSAGE TO PO CHU-I
In that tenth winter of your circle
The cold never letting go of you
And your hunger aching inside you
Old ones and infants and animals
Those curtains of bones swaying on stilts
And you heard the faint cries of the birds
Searching in the frozen mud for something
To swallow and you watched the migrants
Trapped in the cold the great geese growing
Weaker by the day until their wings
Could barely lift them above the ground
So that a gang of boys could catch one
In a net and drag him to market
To be cooked and it was then that you
Saw him in his exile and you
Paid for him and kept him until he
Could fly again and you let him go
But then where could he go in the world
Of your time with its wars everywhere
And the soldiers hungry the fires lit
The knives out twelve hundred years ago

I have been wanting to let you know
The goose is well he is here with me
You would recognize the old migrant
He has been with me for a long time
And is in no hurry to leave here
The wars are bigger now than ever
Greed has reached numbers that you would not
Believe and I will not tell you what
Is done to geese before they kill them
Now we are melting the very poles
Of the earth but I have never known
Where he would go after he leaves me

[“A Message to Po Chu-I.” W.S. Merwin. The New Yorker: taken from the 8 March 2010 ed.]

^ I realize that was a sad interpretation of what would be on a works cited page. And I don’t care. Four years of Honors English and look where it’s taken me.

Well, I think that pretty much says it. I don’t think I have to sit here and draw the correlations between Avatar and that poem. I think you should try and do it yourself. And if you can’t find any, well, what a pity that must be for you because I sure did.

Here’s the bottom line: Avatar did not feel like a movie. I have never had that sort of a feeling while sitting in a movie theater. Ever. It could have had something to do with the fact that I sat there for, like, three hours and my legs were numb and I think I got a little shaky because my blood sugar was getting to be low. It’s not like I didn’t have any candy. I just couldn’t eat it. I would have felt a little guilty eating sugary delights while an entire race of nature-loving and appreciating beings were getting completely wiped out by obnoxiously buff marines.

And that’s another thing. It may not seem like a big metaphor to compare to Avatar, but son-of-a- b. I paid $6.50 for cokes. And it kind of ticked me off. And it also ticked me off that there I was, just coming down from my Avatar high, the credits were just barely rolling and BAM in walks two dudes with a trash receptor. And just like that, I had to come to terms with the reality that it was time to leave and that no recycling would be allowed.

I hope that you understand the importance of it all. I mean, it’s not really for me to be telling you, it’s not my place, and I sure don’t have any real authority, but it sure did seem super important. And if there’s anything I love in this world, it’s a good tree.

I don’t want to get all psycho-Liberal here because that’s not the point. The point is that we’re really good at screwing things up that never even needed the screw. The Regime sleeps, all snug in their beds while visions of themselves making it rain dance through their corporate heads. And all we can do is sit and wait. Wait for the next line of bull we’ll be fed in order to go on being screwed. One day, we’re gonna have to rise up and I don’t care if it’s on bicycles or giant bird-like-Jurassic-Park-lookin’ creatures that we connect to with little neuron synapses at the ends of our braids. We can’t keep getting rid of what was already here. And we can’t go knockin’ on doors to houses that we cannot understand and expect them to let us in. But, at the same time, we can’t help ourselves: it’s the American Way.

gees. I sure hope not.

Oh, and I also loved how they didn’t show the title of the movie until the very end. Something about that gave me chills. Avatar: high five. Or, I guess high four. Since, on each hand, they only had three fingers and one very large, very blue, opposable thumb.

Now that you’re done reading, I’d like to go on making use of those videos over there. Click that one by The National. For some reason, it was stuck in my head at the end of the movie. I’m pretty sure I know the reason why and I sure hope that you do, too. Otherwise, this may have been a total waste. Go outside and plant a tree.

Yours,
katie beth